Today I want to tell you a story, a story about working through my fears and my limits.
Yes, of course I know I am fat. I knew that I was fat. But I thought that I've got this. I'll be alright.
But the thing was, that I wasn't alright. I was eating away my worries, my pain, and my sadness.
THE BEGINNING
I've been battling with a bad mindset about food for my whole life.
I've been yoyo-ing from "you're worthless and don't deserve to eat" to "the heck with this, let's eat it all, it doesn't even matter".
But it's been months since I realized that I do not want to continue like this. I need to stop or I'm on my way to Diabetes type B. I knew I wasn't healthy I just didn't know where to go.
Should I go to my doctor? No, of course not, I'm not "officially sick", I'm just fat ... what now?
I started searching the internet, reading about food, different lifestyles, different diets.
I've seen people change after being on the keto diet. In our work environment, 3/4 of the guys were at least once on the keto diet. It looked hard. It looked like suffering. I decided that wasn't for me.
WHAT NOW?
After the SummerMBeauty event, I started following Sindi (from Sindiana Jones) a bit closer.
She seemed a cool gal, not "I'm perfect, look at me" just ... cool. Kind. Nice.
On her InstaStories, I noticed that she does dietary counseling.
Since I had absolutely no idea about what I'm doing with my food ("quick, let's grab a bite, oh there's a pizza"), I took some time to think about it.
I noticed that working out regularly didn't do a thing about my belly and I was getting frustrated with it.
I decided to give it a go. What harm can it do? I will follow the menu she'll give me and that's it, right? Easy!
Let's DO THIS!
Okay, so I contacted Sindi and after an interesting questionnaire (since I couldn't meet her in person it was online) she sent me my very first menu.
She was kind enough to let me know where I can get the cheapest of the items (in which stores) which made shopping even easier.
I was determined to make this work. I put all the food on the kitchen counter and went to work on the meal number 3 (lunch).
The kitchen scale became my best friend. I realized that I prefer to keep it simple. Clean, cut, store. Repeat. There were no more worries about what to eat during the busy week.
After the first day, it was easy. I made my breakfast in the morning, ate it, grabbed all the prepared food and went to work.
At work, I ate the other 3 meals and the last one was dinner which I cooked at home.
This is how some of the meals I had looked like.
We began on the 23rd of October and every 2 weeks I was supposed to send in my measurements.
The first week was the hardest. I realized I eat my emotions. I ate whenever I felt sad, angered, irritated or bored. I ate junk food and even if while eating I felt good, the feeling after was always guilt and sickness.
I felt like there was temptation everywhere but the heck if I'm the one to quit quickly. No! I think this new realization gave me the strength to continue. For me it wasn't just losing fat for me this was a journey of finding myself again.
THE JOURNEY
I was messaging Sindi all the time and I was sure she was sick of me, but never showed me.
She was fully supportive, understanding and had the kindest words that motivated me even more.
I had some "cheat meals" from time to time, for some I had full "permission" for some I just said, "the heck with it!".
But the sad realization hit me in about two weeks after I started my journey.
Food just doesn't taste as good as it looks. Except Mcdonald's.
After three weeks I stopped craving junk food. I actually started liking the 85% dark chocolate.
Sugar didn't phase me and I wanted to continue.
After two weeks we switched the menu (added some new foods, switched some old ones).
I think my work colleagues were pretty worried because I kept eating salads on the daily.
While I figured out my food intake with Sindi, I still walked and whenever I could, I took a relaxing minute or two on our porch swing.
But I enjoyed the food and came to the realization that food is only fuel. Food doesn't make me happy and my happiness shouldn't be conditioned by it. I should find my own joy within myself.
THE CHANGES
- The first change I noticed was my taste and cravings. I wasn't craving junk anymore.
- The second change was that my pants didn't fit me anymore. I was a bit shocked but continued to wear them anyway ... for a couple of weeks until that wasn't an option anymore.
- There wasn't a big difference in my weight, but I felt slimmer. I felt better!
- When there came the time for the measurements I was excited. I did something! There was a difference!
In the process, I was having some mood swings but nothing major.
- I stopped checking myself in the mirror all the time. I stopped caring what other people think about my body. I got more confident.
- I wasn't hungry anymore. I ate almost on the clock and felt fine about it.
- I decided that my body is sacred and I should act towards it like that. Oh yes, there were changes bigger than just my dress size.
- While losing fat I started thinking about myself, my life, my decisions and where I am now. I admit it wasn't a pretty process actually it was a pretty hard process. I am forever grateful that Sindi stood by my side and she's still supporting me.
- I realized that one slip doesn't mean the end of the diet/day. It's just a small mistake and those can be fixed with the next meal. No biggie.
WHAT NOW?
I am on my journey to becoming the best person I can be. Starting with my body and mind.
I know I am still at the beginning but those are usually the hardest, especially for an emotional person as I am.
Why Sindi?
It's simple. She's professional, polite and motivating. She went through a similar process and knows how's it like.
Her meal plans are simple, she listens to you, acknowledges what you're going through and works with you.
She knows what she's doing and has that human "touch" that makes you feel at home. Safe and ready to overcome new challenges. If you're stuck she understands and helps you move over it.
You can find her in her saloon - Beauty&Lifestyle Studio By S&S.
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